riding bitch

The life of a writer and survivor of loss.


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Getting Closer to Leaving

Believe it or not, I still don’t know when I’m leaving LA. Before I go to NY, I’m going to be working on a film (as a coordinator) for a few weeks. It’s shooting in Las Vegas, and the shoot dates have been pushed back several times due to budget and scheduling issues (normal for independent films). Right now it’s supposed to start shooting on August 11, which means I would start probably at the end of next week. The plan is to pack everything up and send my belongings ahead of me to NY, then work in Vegas for a month. When the shoot is over I will pick up Ruby (she can’t stay with me in Vegas), then head out on our road trip to the East Coast.

This state of limbo since quitting the job and before leaving LA has been odd, but not entirely unpleasant. I’ve been getting work done and making progress, also making new friends. It’s ironic that I should start enjoying LA so much right before leaving. There have been days when I thought maybe I shouldn’t leave, maybe I should just stay. But I think it’s normal to start seeing things in a new light before a big change. I know I will miss Los Angeles, and California, a lot. But it will always be here, and I know with certainty that I’ll be back either for business, pleasure, or quite possibly to live.

Another major decision I’ve made recently is to not keep my LA apartment. Subletting wasn’t really an option. It’s prohibited in my lease, and the building manager lives in the building. I could have tried a ‘work around’ but, honestly, if/when I come back to LA, I don’t want to return to this particular place. It took me a long time to reach that decision, but ever since I did, I have felt a huge sense of relief. It’s risky to give up a cheap place in an expensive city, but since I don’t know what the future holds, I’d rather be free.

So, the Catskills await. It feels a bit like an arranged marriage – even though I know it’s not necessarily forever. I pray that I like it out there. I’ve already made some contacts with people who live nearby, and have a couple of job prospects. Through my sister’s network of people, and my own small network of NY people, I’ll be meeting plenty of folks and making friends, both in the Catskills and NYC. I’m not worried about that aspect. I’m trying not to worry at all, and instead practice patience and faith.

I can’t wait for the next chapter to begin.