Friends,
I wrote this essay about me and Kaz for the online publication Narrative.ly. I’d be honored if you would check it out and leave a comment below if you’re so inspired. Later this week I’ll post what I learned from the experience of writing this piece, which went semi-viral this past weekend.
http://narrative.ly/second-acts/saying-i-do-and-saying-farewell/
The journey continues!
Thank you.
Niva
Riding Bitch 
June 23, 2014 at 3:51 pm
Great essay, Niva! It was both touching and inspiring. Thanks for sharing this very personal story!
June 23, 2014 at 4:11 pm
Thank you so much, Shay! xo
June 23, 2014 at 4:16 pm
I have always been described as a cold person, tough, could care less type and more. Yesterday I found myself crying all through your article on saying I do and farewell actually having to stop and wipe the tears from my eyes about a half dozen times. I couldn’t believe it. Here I was reading something about people I did not know and yet at 56 being a male, ex cop, mistake laden individual, and yet I was bawling.
I congratulate you on your writing abilities!!! I was so touched and saddened by what I was reading. Two people who had found each other and happiness and now this was being taken away. And i? Seeking both even at 56 and more than willing to take his place so you two could be together longer. It just isn’t right!! Thank you for writing what you do, have written in the past and for the writing you will do in the future and allowing me to sign up for your blog. Please contact me off line and consider a visit to the capital of Honduras to stay with my wife and I, if or when, time permits. You are a very very special person. God bless you.
June 23, 2014 at 4:27 pm
Thank you so much, Rick. Your comment has touched my heart and is so very appreciated. Thank you for reading, sharing your thoughts, signing up for the blog and extending that invitation! I would love to visit if/when I find myself in Honduras. I hope you will enjoy the blog. All the best to you and your wife.
June 23, 2014 at 7:11 pm
Niva, I love this essay. I’m sitting here, crying and smiling while John Coltrane plays in the background… I’ve been dealing with loss also. My husband left me for another woman and I’m still living in the house we shared with children and all his stuff… This essay made me see that hope isn’t just a word but a vital organ to the human spirit. Thanks for sharing and welcome to upstate NY. I moved out of the city over 10 years ago with my husband (we met online and thought I was in a fairy tale. Unfortunately, I forgot all fairy tales have these dark scary moments before the happily ever after). I grew up in the city but the country is in my soul now. Welcome!
June 24, 2014 at 11:27 am
Ah, first of all, I love the image of you reading the essay with John Coltrane in the background. Secondly, I’m so sorry to hear about your current loss and situation. That is so tough. Yes, “hope is a vital organ of the human spirit,” and that’s such a beautiful way of phrasing it. Please keep it alive within yourself. Bad times are usually followed by better times, not right away, but eventually. Hang in there. xo
PS. I move to the Catskills in August. Can’t wait!
June 24, 2014 at 2:12 am
This is honest, moving and made me care about you, Niva, and your journey. Grief includes deep sadness, but also unexpected creativity. I know moving to a new place will open a new space in your heart and a new path to your spirit. Looking forward to reading the next chapters of your story.
June 24, 2014 at 11:31 am
Thank you so much, Jessica. I agree that grief can prompt creativity. Also love, the greatest inspiration of all.
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June 25, 2014 at 4:08 pm
Niva … what a heart wrenching, soul baring, beautifully told story. I’m so glad you were able to write all of this down.
Very proud of you for sharing … and
Screw the lady at the bank (sorry, couldn’t help that).
Oh! and I love the countdown to the last day of work 🙂
June 25, 2014 at 4:51 pm
Thanks, LB! I love the countdown too. Almost there! 🙂
May 20, 2016 at 6:27 am
I’ve only just come to this (I know – late to a great party by the looks of it). I was widowed in May 2009, 13 days after we married. Thank you for writing so eloquently about the identity shifts / name change challenges and so on. I changed my name after my OH died which seems confusing to others and after having remarried, I still struggle to let my late husband’s name go. It seems to signify the person I became as a widow. Wonderful writing.
May 22, 2016 at 9:39 am
Thank you SBT. I am sorry to hear of your loss. The identity shifts and name challenges persist don’t they? I still carry my late husband’s last name legally, but am back to my maiden name publicly. It’s a process. Wishing you well. xo