riding bitch

The life of a writer and survivor of loss.

Clocking in for You

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Perhaps venting the fears about the upcoming residency in yesterday’s post was the answer. The comments were helpful and encouraging (thank you). Today I’m feeling less worried. Also, at last night’s celebratory dinner, T set me straight (as usual).

“If you end up not writing, sleeping in, fraternizing and treating it like a vacation, then you’ll come back knowing this isn’t the profession for you. But I don’t think that will be the case.”

She also used the phrase “clocking in for you” – which I love.

This is the ultimate test really. Speaking hypothetically, when your time is your own, what do you do with it? How serious are you about your goals? Your art? Yourself? At what point, do you commit to your chosen path and declare yourself a professional (whether you get paid or not)? And if not now, when?

I’ve thought of my late husband a lot recently. He used to say, “don’t talk about it, be about it.” And he wore a bracelet that read Audentes Fortuna Iuvat… “Fortune favors the bold.”

When I think of all that he went through with his illness,  it still boggles my mind. He used to affectionately call me a “soldier” but he was the true soldier (literally, he had been in the Air Force).  Though he fell in the battle against cancer, he fought with honor and died with courage and dignity. 

Now, his widow sets off on a new frontier.

Forward, we march.

Author: nivaladiva

Freelance writer and independent filmmaker.

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